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    8/29/2009

    ~黑色的夏天!~

    钢琴比完了,心里的这块石头终于落地了,整个暑假为了准备比赛,自己都快发疯了。不仅仅只是比赛,还有一大堆的事情要做,永远有好多事情做也做不完。常常半夜睡不着,索性翻起琴盖练琴,自己想想就想哭。。。

    毕业之后,总希望能有更多的时间去玩,不是我贪玩,不是我不用心,是因为在学校太苦了,有时候连一点点的埋怨的话都会憋在心里,生怕老师和父母担心。工作到现在,并不是自己想象的那样,一件一件事情压的我喘不过气。已经找不到自己的目标,理想离我越来越远了。大家对我的期望很高,总会害怕自己做不好,越怕心态越不好!总想找回学校的那个我,很难。

    上学时,曾在书柜下方贴上一张纸,一抬头就能看见上面写着:“你可以一辈子都不登山,但你心中一定要有座山,它使你总往高处爬,它使你总有个奋斗的方向,它使你任何一刻抬起头都能看到自己的希望。”当时看到这行字,自己很兴奋很带劲,给自己带来无限的憧憬,也为自己想了好多好多美好的希望。可是现在的我,看着这些字好茫然啊,我找不到我的那座山,找不到奋斗的方向,脑子一片空白,混一天是一天,麻木地做一些自己并不感兴趣的事情,一切都是麻木的。

    我只想专心的做1,2件事情,可以么?我只想好好生活,不要比什么比什么,可以么?我只想一有时间做我喜欢做的事情,可以么?我只有这些简单的愿望了,可以么?

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